unsoshabl

Death came to me this day
Sweetness on her breath as the words poured,
“with sadness I inform you that it is time to pay
A good life you made worthless… you must defend it.. in the highest of courts,
And this court will decide fire or bliss behind pearly gates”
In return I scream “whos choice to decide its my time
I dont agree with others deciding my fate
Even if the hell Icreated is in my head… This is no crime
Not for you them or anyone but me to choose”
Her stunning green and red eyes peircing me from behind her black vail
“my son this if this is a fight… You lose
Clenching that knife to your wrist… You already fail”

“what knife” I exclaim
Looking down and realizing my choice
Realizing my life is so very lame
Pain and Fear shaking in my voice
Blood rolling down my wrist to elbow
weaving in and out of the hair
Realizing I have hit a new low
I really do care,
Why, who, what, how
The questions keep coming
As I hear voices of friends family and foe
So fast and constant like a hum.

“Smart, pleasant, giving and caring” said one,
“Kind, loving, thoughtful and fun” said another,
As I listen from below, the weeps of those I love
My body sitting alone in a wood box,
my life no longer in exsistance,
I can no longer change my action,
I now completely understand regret.

*please note I had to change the dates to allow them to be in order*