Do you ask yourself these questions?
How often do you look at your life and where you want it to go? Now, how often do you feel your going about it all wrong? Do you feel that youre not being the best you can be? Do you feel youre not doing enough? I am constantly feeling like this. But, do you answer these questions with the topic being morally, with honor, and with integrity? Do you feel you are doing the best you can for all around humanity?
I dont! It really bugs me. I just dont get it. I think of these questions and I can answer that I feel I should be doing more. More for all of us. Yeah, I am in the military and I wouldnt give that up for the world; however I just feel I should be giving more. I have once divulged, in ordinary conversation, one of my dreams. The question posted was What is the one thing you want to accomplish in life? My answer was to make a positive impact within at least one persons life. I dont know if I have accomplished this, and I am not looking to hear someone say I have. But I believe somewhere down the road, I have and or will do this at least once in my life.
But I still feel, even if I have done this, which I still havent done enough. I asked the question Do you feel that youre not being the best you can be? and I can definitely say NO! Why? Because I am a supervisor at a water park. Ok, there is a life long dream of human service. Heh, I mean who am I helping? I am not a Peace Corps kind of person. I would love to be a cop, but I dont think I can get in. I am in the military, but that just isnt enough as I am a National Guardsman, and I dont want to be Active component, as they dont do shit.
Do you live as honest and honorable as you can? I can honestly say yes. I dont lie, I dont steal, and I try to make the best decisions I can for everyones sake. I dont believe most people do this now a days. This saddens me. I try to make it a point to show people to live this way. Do you? Honor takes integrity, personal courage, loyalty (to self, cause and others), respect, and selfless acts to everyone around you. I live by the Army Values daily. I make decisions each and every day that affect peoples lives, yet I do it knowing I make the best decision for all those it affects.
If you were to die tomorrow, would you be able to look back at your life as it flashed before your eyes, and say you lived up to your best? Im not so sure I could. I know everyone makes mistakes and that is a part of life. A part of learning and Human nature. Could you say that you influenced someones life for the better? Could you say you contributed to better the human existence?
Do you ever ask yourself these questions?
I do, all the time. Whether it is seeing a TV show or seeing a senseless act on a street corner, I am reminded how shallow and unforgiving the current generation of humans act and react. I think of these things all the time, wondering what I can do help. To inspire and to be inspired.
I constantly write like this. I have hundreds of word documents of my jibber jabber. And yet, I still continue on my way of life being no one. Yes I am someone to some people. And I am content like this. However, have you ever wondered, how you will be remembered when you are gone? If you have, does this drive you to try and be better with your life and give more? I do. Yet again, it doesnt seem to make me feel better because I always come back to the same feeling that I can be better and yet I dont know how. It drives me up a wall.
I once decided that I wanted to go into the medical field so I could have proof that I make a difference on a regular basis. But I decided a short time later, that field would be a terrible mistake with my mind set as what would I feel or think when I couldnt help someone and they lost their limb, eyesight, mind, or life.
How often if any, do you say to yourself before bed that you are going to get up early and work out and get a new and improved you started the next day? I must say this every other day. But I say this also for my thoughts on improving life for those around me. Yet I have found myself for the last month and a half, doing the exact opposite. Getting really irritated with people and life in general and treating people like shit saying the term I really dont give a shit or even better in which I use all the time now Fuck It. I have been so negative lately, that it astounds me that even though I want to better myself, I cant even get myself back to the person who was normal.
One of the first jobs I had was at a bagel and coffee joint. I was one of the lucky first few to work there and we had a manager that truly inspired me to change the way I thought about treating people. We had a meeting just before opening the store and in this meeting he shared valuable knowledge with us. He said when someone comes into the store or someone you may walk past whether it is here or walking down the side walk ten years from now, Smile, ask how they are doing. Say it with energy and pizzazz. No matter how their day is going up to that point, you will affect them by sharing your positive energy with them. Think about it, if you come to a place of business or go home and someone just says hi, and carries on with what they are doing, does this affect you? No, because they havent shared anything with you. However, if you walk into a place and someone says with great energy, Hi, How are you doing? With pizzazz, doesnt that kind make you smile and think, I am in a great place. I was curious to this. Did it work? Is this truly possible? So I tried it morning after morning as I usually went to work at 3:30am and didnt want to use that energy, but did. I was truly amazed. It worked, over and over again. It was amazing. So would this work outside of work? I tried it everywhere and I was astonished. No matter where I was, these people even if having a bad look on their face would change and smile. What it the energy, or was it the fact that I cared how their day was going. I dont know. It didnt necessarily work on everyone, but for the most part it did.
The reason I brought the greeting info into this. I dont do this anymore and I just realized it. We as a modern society just dont give a shit about our neighbors or our fellow man. Is it that we dont want to hear someone bitch about their day? What if by chance, that is all that person needs is to get something off their chest. That one lone individual that can listen and make a difference just by listening. Who is to say, you may help the one person, which could change your life forever. That one person which could give you that one chance in life to be set apart from the rest. What is it that makes us human?
Do you ask yourself these questions?
Do you feel as if you give too much? I dont! I work my ass off for the most part each and every time I go to work. I fight to get my staff everything they need to be successful and I try like hell to get them things that will better their experience at work. All I ask of them is to do their job the way they are supposed to do it. Yet, I get called names and from what I understand is most of them are scared of me. Is this because I treat them wrong. I give each and everyone the utmost respect. Even if they do something to damage that respect, I still keep giving it to them. And yet, I dont get that respect back from most of them. Even though, most of them come to me with their problems and challenges. Hell, even their personal problems. I dont get it.
Knowing yourself, ask yourself this. If you were walking behind someone and they reached in their pocket for a cigarette or something and when they withdrew their hand form their pocket and a 1 dollar bill dropped out without them knowing, would you pick it up and give it back to them? We all know we can simply answer yes, I would. But really think about it. What if you were at a bar and drunk, would you then. I know I would, but would you? Would most others? I dont think most would.
This is the world I live in. I try to live with as much Honor and Integrity as I can, yet as is see it most others do not. Or they do but only to a certain point. That point being if it will give them any gain or not. Should I lower my standards? So I can be like everyone else and take personal gain from others misfortunes? I cant do that. I wont do that. I have what is called guilt, and it affects me hard. I am not saying others dont have guilt, but I do.
Those who know me will often hear me say I am an asshole. I am. Plain and simple, I have no problem telling someone off if they deserve it and it is within my boundaries. I dont ever intend on people taking my words of asshole to the level and I set out to ruin others days as I clearly said above, that I try to have the intent of doing the opposite. I may ignore people that I dont like or people I dont know. That is because I am either shy or have a short fuse when it comes to annoyance. Is this wrong of me?
Do you ask yourself these questions?
I was really irritated by someone that was talking about me behind my back. It was my fault as I posted something on myspace for a certain individual to read and I am not ashamed by any means of what I wrote. But the part that bugged me is why not just ask me about it rather than talking about it to someone that had not read it, especially if you knew it wasnt meant for you? Is it really that important to you to talk about it to someone else, rather than asking me if you were my friend? Is it wrong of me to wonder why? If I read something you wrote, being personal or not, should I ask you or go talk to our mutual friends about it? Am I wrong? And if you read this, Curiosity killed the cat, because this isnt the first time. See I am an asshole.
If you were in a position to save one of two peoples lives and you had the choice to pick one, who would you choose? A friend that was not the best of people or a stranger that you knew was a truly great person and that touched everyone they came across? Or even better, would you be willing to kill 1000 people if it would give us the cure for the common cold? What about Cancer? Or aids?
Ask yourself. Truly ask yourself. Think of the moral implications this has. Use logic. What would you do? Would you kill someone for 100 million dollars if you knew for a fact, you could get away with it? Would you try?
The greater benefit for man kind is my answer unless a human life was at stake is my answer for all of the above. As far as a friend or stranger, I would pick the stranger as my decision would benefit man kind. I wouldnt kill one person for a cure to all the diseases on the planet. Why, because who are you killing. When one person dies, everyone near that person has something that dies within them. That is pain. Absolute torture. 100 million dollars doesnt add up to all those peoples pain nor does it take the pain out of you.
Take a look around you, and see what you can change. I try each day. I often fail, but I try. Do you? Have you?
Do you ask yourself…………………………………………………..or am I insane?
