unsoshabl

I always seem to be second best, and it drives me nuts….

If not second…. its a higher number.

I want to obtain my goals, my dreams. I want to go to school, but it seems just so far out of reach. I want to own a home but that seems totally impossible. I want to have a family, but that never seems to work…..

Always second… always to far out of reach… always bleh…

I will have my dreams, I will obtain my goals, I will succeed and I will prove all this…. to noone but myself.

I am miserable

I appoiogize for not posting the last few days. Been working hard on a few different projects. I have also been busy reading the health care reform bill. It is full of crap and un-American ways of thought.
I often go to a site called help.com and a question came up of what do ppl have against obamas health reform? so I replied with some of the things I dont like about it. Like raising taxes, peneltys if you dont take it, it is a start to socialism in America, it violates my rights as a citizen.
Our forefathers faught for our independance against a nation that was over bearing in its laws. They faught for our freedoms to live with choices. Choices that we could make without penelty. Now our nations leaders are trying to create laws to go against what many of our forefathers taught and some died for. This isnt right.
if I chose not to buy car insuance, I wouldnt drive as that is a luxury. Life is not a luxury, it is a right. A right we all have. So if I choose not to purchase health insuance does that mean I forfiet my right to live? Thats not fair. Thats like me choosing to own a car to sit my driveway and not drive, but still having to pay for car insuance. Where is the justification in that?
one guy that is debating with me on the other site has epilepsy. I think that was it. He really wants the NHC to go through so he can have health insuance. See insuance companies wont insure him as he is too high risk. I think that the insurance companies should cover him. I think we should pass legislation to allow for ppl born with diseases etc should be covered, but to put in a national health care program is fucking stupid.
I am starting to believe Obama is dpi g this to put his name down I. The history books of one of the greatest presidents. I dont think the hcr act will do anything but put our country in a more dire situation.
I have been very upset about this topic the last few days. I just dont get why ppl are so blind to see what they are doing and the freedoms they are taking away from us. What will it be next after this?

Btw, sorry this is short, had to post it from my phone.

I am now thinking it is time for a change. I am tired of being the person I am. I use to be a little more ambitious, goal oriented, and happy. Since the layoff, I have been miserable. I have realized that there is so much for me to do with my life and that I have passed on opportunitys that could have made me so much more of the man I desire to be.

I am ready to get this clothing company off the ground an I am ready to take the risks involved to get it done. If I lose a little money, so be it!

I have been offered free housing on a boat in a marina in San diego. I have pondered this so much. I want to do it so badly, but then again I do twant to lose out on the relationships I have formed here in phoenix.

Right now I am confident, but confused as hell too!

Well today has come and gone. A new day on the horizon and I am looking to a brighter day at that. Today I sat down with a friend here at the bar and explained the clothing company I am trying to start. It was really refreshing to hear someone be excited for it besides me and my partner. A lot of other ppl I have mentioned it to have been some what negative about it in the sense of saying it is going to be difficult and thinking it wont take off and that it is a waste of money.

well on my defense it isnt much money that I am investing. And yes it will be a lot of work, but I am not afraid of hard work and dedication. Exspecially since this will be one of my dreams coming to life. I have been dreaming of this for years and now it is closer than ever.

Anyways, I am excited and looking forward to the challege. We shall see where it takes me.

On the other front lines of my life, it is quiet and there are a few hiccups along the way, but that is ok. Well I sappose it is time to get back to the bar life.

Take care and happy days to you!